Discipline in Early Childhood

Dear Families,

At today's faculty meeting, teachers from all the grades at school will turn in their behavior and discipline systems for their classrooms.  As a strings teacher, it will be very helpful to me to know how the 4th grade or 6th grade or 8th grade teacher holds students accountable to provide an excellent learning environment.

Dyanne and Kim (our kindergarten teachers) and I find--we think rightly--that systems of rewards and consequences do not fit the varied lives of young children.  Most of the discipline in the early years is the self-discipline of the adult--working to be present, steady, consistent, predictable, and unwavering.  The chapter, "Rhythm and Discipline in Home Life" from You Are Your Child's First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy provides an excellent description of how we can be loving and firm--or firm and patient without going crazy--at the same.  This book is available in the Kathrine Dickerson Memorial Library, upstairs from the classroom in our school lobby.  As school community members, you are welcome to check out books from this library during the school year:  There are children's books, books about child development and parenting, and books about Waldorf education. 

Over the years, we early childhood teachers have worked together to provide a consistent description of how we observe the children and provide the response that meets the situation, the ages of the children, and their developmental stage.  Here is our description of Discipline and Behavior in Early Childhood.

While we have had many tears about saying goodbye to mom or dad in our class this year, I have found the children very responsive, proactive, and cooperative this year.  Perhaps the most electric issue so far has been a pink pig in the classroom that several girls and a couple of boys have shown a keen interest in, with a fair bit of pulling, grabbing, and meltdowns.  That being said, I have also seen children--after what seems an impossible standoff--work out a way of sharing the pig or taking turns; my experience is that this is much more valuable than if I impose a system ("You may have the pig for 5 minutes and then must pass it along.") Lynne and I will help when we can and be ready in case tugging turns to hitting or biting.  One thing I won't do is flood the room with more pink pigs.  In past years, there have been seemingly unending fights over the three smallest baby dolls; then, time passes, and the children find peace again.  If we had three pigs, it is as likely 3 children would have pigs with 1 or 2 very sad children remaining.

Although it is possible 1 or 2 children are captivated by the toy itself, it is likely for many children their interest in a prized toy like a pink pig is a way of interacting with other children--to them it must be important if others become so upset.  This potentially adversarial relationship often changes into friendship in an instant--indeed, many friends of all ages can move quickly from love to rivalry.  Our hope is to model and help guide the children toward loving interactions.  Forcing them to be peaceful won't work because forcing a situation is working against peace.

I write all of this as an elaboration on our letter that is scheduled to come out at this time.  Again, while the tears of saying goodbye are hard for the children and parents and for me as a teacher, I find your group of children delightful to be with and fairly easy to guide through the morning.

With warmth and light,

William Geoffrey Dolde