Reframing Transitions and Farewells

Dear Golden Forest Parents,

I look forward to seeing you on Tuesday morning. Kim will indeed be present during the Rainbow Bridge ceremony at 8:30. Upon reflection, it seemed best not to include a symbolic gesture of Kim passing the torch to me as the Golden Forest teacher during the whole school ceremony. She and I are in the process of planning something very simple on the Golden Forest playground right after the whole school ceremony (approximately 9am); it will likely be quite simple--we want to maintain a sense that all will be well with the transition.

Here are some thoughts about the sadness children demonstrate when saying goodbye to a parent after a long summer away from school (or as also sometimes happens later in the school year). In a workshop with Nancy Foster--one of the wisest of wise women who have refined the craft of Waldorf Early Childhood teaching in America--I remember her recommending that teacher and parent work in concert as "confident actors" (her term), quelling any nervousness on their parts and focusing on the likelihood that all will go well with a child's transition to school.

What if we take this a step forward and use a phrase like, "Things are always working out for me. Things are always working out for my child"? No matter how twisty a path, it is always working out towards one of thriving and well being. If this sounds or seems challenging, we could start with very general phrases that soothe us and make us feel better (whether we need soothing because our child is reluctant, or because our child marches away from us and never looks back!). "I've known a lot of other parents whose children were sad at first and then really enjoyed kindergarten." "There are a lot of times when I felt hesitant about beginning something and was really glad I did so." "I don't have to figure out the perfect way to say goodbye. There is no wrong way, and there is no perfect way." Maybe from here, inspirations or images will come that will support your child.

One image comes to my mind from the spring of 2006. I would begin each morning in my nursery class with 5 children merrily perched on my chair as I was knitting. Some of these children had been with me for 3 years, and in the 3rd year, only seemed appeased when saying goodbye to mom or dad when sitting on my lap. Even after the relief was no longer needed, the fun these 5 children had all crowding onto my chair--and it brings back a big smile for me, too--continued this ritual. It was a wonderful spring with lots and beautiful interactions--on my chair and throughout the room and playground. I bring up this image when discovering ways to soothe a child in distress at the start of the morning.

If you have stories to share or insights, I'd love to hear them. Let me know if I can share with other parents in our class.

Finally, there have been some transitions in assistants and a student. Here are words from Dyanne. "We have a couple of updates to the Sunflower Class. First, Jack McAuliff will be in the Sunflower Class this year. It has become clear to both William and me that this placement will be best for all. Also, I am pleased to announce that Gina Schneider will be my assistant this year. Gina has lived on the island for about one year, during which time she spent a good deal of time substituting in our Sunflower, Golden Forest and Butterfly classes. Prior to her time on Whidbey, Gina taught for 10 years in the California public schools, and was a lead kindergarten teacher at a Waldorf charter school in Orange County, CA. She was trained in "The Art of Teaching Kindergarten" at Rudolf Steiner College and is also published poet. In addition to assisting in the Sunflower class this year, Gina will also be assisting Cordula in the afternoons and working on her internship with The Art of Spiritual Direction Program. Many of your children will remember Gina from last year. She is very excited to be joining the team and we are excited to have her."

With appreciation for your willingness to try new things,

William