The Perils of Praise and Ornamental Pots:
Intrinsic Motivation, Brain Research, and Virginia Woolf's Three Guineas
Butterfly Classroom
Whidbey Island Waldorf School
Tuesday, March 1, 6 - 7pm
(from 7-8pm there will be a discussion about forming a parent support group or groups)
"All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality; all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority, belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are 'sides,' and it is necessary for one side to beat another side, and of the utmost importance to walk up to a platform and receive from the hands of the Headmaster himself a highly ornamental pot."
— Virginia Woolf (A Room of One's Own)
— Virginia Woolf (A Room of One's Own)
Articles on the research of Carol Dweck on the inverse power of praise have resonated with parents in parent & child classes on Whidbey Island and in Baltimore. Motivated parents have shared the article with friends and relatives. Several parents have requested a talk on tricky subject of praise, what to say instead if--following Kim Payne--we want to avoid spewing "Good Job!" all over the place, and what might be exceptions. In this lecture and discussion, William Dolde will review Dweck's research and try to offer insights into how to enable the research to help us rather than paralyze us. He will also weave in Virginia Woolf's wisdom from her 1938 non-fiction work Three Guineas (with some reference to the earlier A Room fo One's One) to explore some of the reasons why our culture tends to be asleep to common phrases of judgment such as "Good Job!" or "Is he a good baby?"
Various parents have expressed a wish to start a parenting support group, and from 7 to 8pm we will have a discussion of what forms this could take--from meeting at a coffee shop during school to meeting with a teacher at night. Parents should also feel free to bring any questions about children and parents to this second hour, and we will use our collective wisdom to try to provide paths toward finding answers. This second conversation need not revolve around praise and its alternatives.
To prepare for the first hour, you may wish to read the following two articles:
"How Not to Talk to Your Kids: The Inverse Power of Praise," by Po Bronson
"The Secret to Raising Smart Kids: Hint. Don't Tell Your Kids That They Are," by Carol Dweck
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