Ritual and Speech

Dear Families,

        This is a call to be mindful of your speech around your children and around school.  Last week, several parents talked openly about a birthday party after school while pushing their children on the swings, yelling "Let's go to the birthday party" in a manner easy for parents and children who had not been invited to hear.  While there were no major meltdowns observed, and while it is fine for children to have birthday parties that do not include every child in the class, I cannot but say I am somewhat disappointed by the parents' lack of decorum and awareness.  We are working with issues of social exclusion (intensively and successfully) in class and the school as a whole, and all the children need the support of the parents.  Your mindfulness will help your child and all the children.

       As many of you know (board meetings and minutes are open), the board and faculty are going through an intense process of trying to produce a balanced budget in tight financial times.  I have observed some kindergarten parents speaking rather openly about their discontent about this or that decision in the presence of children.  I welcome the discontent, but our children's health asks for parents to be mindful and temper their speech around children.  If you have an issue with me, please tell or write me directly.  If you have other questions or concerns, Maureen may be a good initial person to contact, and she will help direct your concern to the appropriate group--board, faculty, college, listening council, parent council, and soforth.  I appreciate your help in reminding kindergarten parents to be mindful of children in their presence as well.

In class I have observed intense rituals in which many children (6, 7, 8) pull on a rope, sometimes to realize that they all are pulling in the same direction--that the child they were ostensibly "helping" get the rope has already moved on to another game.  As Kim Payne writes, intense interpersonal interaction (that is, conflict) has become the rite of passage children seek at this time.  This ritualistic conflict has begun to spill over, however, into the games of children who are not yet seeking such an intense meeting, and I will do everything in my power to redirect, stop, or change patterns in the class.  I value your support of my authority and my decisions at this time.

With warmth and light (and a little fire),

William Geoffrey Dolde