Upon hearing feedback and interest from nursery parents, it has become clear to me that we will find more benefit in a Friday Maxwelton potluck (having faith in the weather) rather than a Thursday meeting without children.
NO MEETING THURSDAY THE 16th.
Yes, casual pot-luck on Friday the 17th from 4 to 5:30ish (staying a little later if the weather is nice) at Maxwelton Beach. I will also invite parent & child families.
With appreciation,
William
He told her something like the following: in a 5th grade handwork class, children get their directions from the teacher, start their knitting or sewing, converse quietly, get to a pleasant hum, and then become too loud. It always happens; he should know; he had taught for decades and visited dozens of schools as an evaluator. This natural rhythm of getting too loud has nothing to do with the worthiness of the teacher. And, yes, the teacher then has to shift the mood to restore a quiet hum that supports concentration and pleasant engagement, but the teacher need never be disappointed when performing this task because it is an expected task; groups of people become louder and quieter.
In his lectures to teachers opening the first Waldorf school, Rudolf Steiner exhorted the teachers to be prepared to receive insults from rascally students with the same composure that they might accept rain if they had forgotten their umbrella (pretty easy for us in the Pacific Northwest, where umbrellas are few and far between).
We still guide the class. As I've written and spoken before, we can still be confident Zen captains, working with the laws of the sea as we guide our family or classroom ship. We do so from a place of acceptance and composure. There is never a need to feel lack or unworthiness. We will have far more effectiveness and bring more joy and light and happiness if we start from a place of allowing the present (even as we are about to attempt to guide behavior).
I think the handwork example resonates for me is that it doesn't cut so close to the bone as a parent and teacher of young children (I'm not tempted to compare myself favorable or unfavorably with this most excellent handwork teacher)--yet the principle is the same. As parent or teacher I find myself frequently inspired or called upon to shift a situation. If I can start from a place of acceptance ("These things happen, and I there are many ways to make the situation even better), I will be all the more able to bring enriching outcomes for everyone. As one Waldorf kindergarten teacher says, if we can speak any statement guiding behavior with the same tone as we would speak, "Here's the towel," we will find ourselves helping all the more. True confession here: in the past decade, there have a couple of times in which I have been so at my wit's end at help to free up an electric conflict situation, I have stated, "Here's the towel." That nonsequitur so confused everyone that it allowed a pause to come and a path toward healing begin.
Another reason I am drawn to the handwork example is it leaves us a bit freer as parents of very young children to recognize the diversity of our experiences. Your base point of expansion with your child or children may be very different from mine, and that is OK.
Kim Payne asks teachers (and parents), "Do we love our times?" His question is rhetorical: really, he is saying, "Find a way to love our times for your benefit and your children's benefit." Our positive outlook will help to bring about positive outcomes for our children. In our WIWS process with social inclusion, we will likely start a "put down diet" for adults (and later ask our children to join us). We will benefit from finding alternatives to criticism--including criticism of our governments and financial leaders. Esther Hicks, inspired by Abraham, speaks with infectious enthusiasm about all that is going well on planet earth; it is a delicious time to be alive.
We are not burying our heads in the sand. Rather than making us blind to bullying or teasing or other elements we need to shift, our composure and positive outlook will make us most able to help all children. We can appreciate what is, and be eager for even better times. Magda Gerber, who has helped parents celebrate our infants and toddlers where they are rather than feeling disappointed that they are not yet at the next phase (that is, rather than worrying about when our child will walk, we witness all the joy she or he experiences in crawling). Celebrate what is, even as we look forward to what is to come.
So this winter/spring, I try to be on the path of writing shorter pieces that all seem to say the same thing. If this fails to appease, perhaps if you ate gobs of honey, that would satisfy.
I've worked with Kim Payne on Social Inclusion and Simplicity Parenting in Baltimore and New Hampshire. Amidst all his esoteric erudition, some simple moments stand out for me. We were discussing an electric situation, in which 7th grade girls were vicious toward another 7th grade girl who wasn't "cool." In working with one of the tormentors (separately), Kim was able to help her realize that although the less cool girl, like, really annoyed her and made her have to roll her eyes, she, like, really only rolled her eyes, like, 8 times of 10, or whatever. Kim helped this ostensible bully realize that, in fact, 2 times out of 10, she was able to interact with this other girl--the supposed target of her loathing--with tolerance, perhaps even acceptance. He encouraged the potential tormentor to work to 3 times out of 10 of acceptance (no teasing, eye rolling, and soforth); then checked in with her in a few days and moved it up to 4 or 5. Soon the once bully realized that everything worked better and flowed better if she tolerated the other girl (who had once been her best friend) , and they became friends again. This was a success story, and I took from it Kim's general recommendation: notice what works, and build from there (no matter how slight). Follow and focus upon the solution.
Jerry and Esther Hicks, in conveying wisdom from the spiritual world,--as they encourage us to attend to the solution rather than the problem--give us the metaphor of the buffet. When we go to a buffet, we choose the food that we enjoy and want to try and eat it. We don't lament or go into hysterics or give our attention to the food in the buffet we choose not to eat. We don't start yelling at the omelette chef because he has the gall to have those mushrooms we don't like there. They encourage us to look at what life gives us in the same way, to deliberately focus our attention on that which produces good feeling thoughts, which will attract more of the same.
Waldorf kindergarten teachers--from the first ones in Stuttgart to the likes of Rahima Baldwin Dancy and Barbara Patterson--notice the importance and effectiveness of stating the positive ("Let's stay on dry land" rather than "Don't go in that puddle") in guiding young children; they take their cue from Rudolf Steiner, who noted that young children DON'T register the "don't" in a phrase such as "Don't run" or "Don't hit," but instead register the verb "run" or "hit." (A parent informed that contemporary brain research backs this up).
In the social interactions of young children, it is tempting to get caught up in the charged moments--the hitting, the grabbing, the pushing, and the like. I am always asking how we can--while having a picture of love and wellness that includes physical and emotional safety--give our attention and energy to the abundant moments of cooperative and tolerant interactions. How we can build from this stream of wellness flowing here rather than pushing against a river of unwanted there.
At times I pause and wonder if this smacks too much of Skinner and Pavlov. "Reward" (with attention) that which you want to increase its frequency (give stimulus to achieve the desired response). But why wonder if it is "too much"? Why do spiritual streams and material streams need be in opposition? For Steiner and other spiritual seekers, the physical is the leading edge of the spiritual, the physical is spiritual. I appreciate so much some of tools (that is, spiritual insights) I received in my public school teaching--we called it "planned ignoring" when I taught public school. We also played a game of the "mystery helper" in which I as teacher chose a child a random. If that child's behavior or performance was prosocial, the whole class received a reward with a description of the activity that merited it. If that child's behavior did not, there was no mention of it.
Just about any Friday when school is in session between now and June at 11:30am presents a serendipitous time for our parent & teacher conference (or check-in if we have already had a conference). I will put a sign-up sheet in the classroom. You can email me back if you want me to sign you up.
CLASS MEETING/DISCUSSION, FEBRUARY 16, 5-6pm
2 talks that would have been great for us--Johanna Steegmans and Kim John Payne--have been cancelled. There is a talk from Karen Benson next Tuesday. I wonder if you nursery parent are hungry for a chance to gather as adults. A time that works well for me is Thursday, February 16, from 5 to 6pm (it is before the EC open house, aimed at drawing new families to our school). I imagine this meeting would be a discussion, not a lecture. If possible, we could go more into the social inclusion work of Kim John Payne and how I see it working in an early childhood classroom. Please email me, talk to me, call me, or write me a note to let me know if you would like to attend. If only 1 family wants to attend, I can make that time our parent & teacher conference. If there are 2 or 3 families, I'll give them the option of how to proceed. As the days become longer, we can try to find ways to bring adults and children together at pot-lucks and the like. This is to say that I present this potential February 16 as an opportunity, not as a burden.
LYNNE AWAY and then WILLIAM AWAY
There is no class February 20-23 for winter break. Lynne will be away the Wednesday and Thursday before break (15 and 16). William will be away the Monday and Tuesday after break (27 and 28). We are trying to get 1 substitute to be there all 4 days (with Lynne or William, as the case may be).
POSSIBLY NO CLASS APRIL 2-4
When the kindergartens close for rising first grade assessments, the original intention is for the nursery to be closed as well. There remains confusion around this in official calendars, for which I apologize. My vision is that if the kindergartens are closed, the nursery will be closed as well (that is from April 2 to April 12; the assessments and Spring Break). I have heard talk that the rising first grade assessment schedule might change. If kindergartens are open, the nursery will be open. I will keep you posted.
Often using the word "rhythm" to describe the process, a Waldorf early childhood teacher creates a schedule of a morning or day that allows time for vigorous movement (often called out breaths); and for times of quietness and interpersonal and self awareness (inbreaths). It is wonderful working with my kindergarten colleagues, with your children, and with my memories of children I have taught in the past: each group of children asks for nourishment in unique ways; each teacher answers this request in unique ways. Just when I thought I'd "never" serve fruit in the woods again because it had unsettled past groups (children focusing to whether they got as much as another; children expressing a sense of lack, a sense of competition; this mood lingering into the outdoor play of the children), your children have had the intrepidness to dispel my false conclusions.
We have a lovely time when we gather--after the longest nursery hike I've ever taken, longer than I thought I would take--to share apples, pears, and satsumas (thanks to Lynne). I still cut the apples and pears in half to display the stars in the center. The children wait with ease and equanimity. Rather than competing, children make sure I am not forgetting to serve their classmates. Your children have helped me to meet and nurture them where they are. They have also reminded me to celebrate and respond to the present: this current outdoor snack routine would not work so well if our class grows in size. Rather than worry about what if (a good what if for the school), I remain confident that we would shift and find other ways to create a rhythm or the morning that supports the children.
Lynne and I have been supplying a lot fruit recently and have source to bring quantities of organic fruit to school. Although the harvest season is over, if you find yourself near a bounty and want to share a bag with the class, wonderful. This is an invitation, not a request or exhortation; please feel no stress about it. It is great if each family can bring a vegetable or veggies for the soup on Wednesdays.
THANKSGIVING We have no nursery class on November 21 to 24. School is closed.
TRANSFORMATION Breaks, such as the one in 8 days, and the three week break over Christmas--and, indeed, the wisdom that comes from this inner time of year--often create remarkable transformations in the play and social work and imagining of a group of young children. It has been a joy to watch the flow and transformations in our social interactions thus far, and I expect great shifts and fluidity in the months ahead.
UPDATE I try to avoid overburdening inboxes. From time to time a parent & child question inspires a response that makes me think, "Some nursery families might like to read about this, too." I will be sending along such an update in a few minutes.
